Once, when I was exploring my delinquent side, I went to a party that involved a lot of drinking. I didn’t partake but everyone else did.

It happened at a property that detained aggressive dogs. The owners of the property, for whatever reason, weren’t home. That’s why the party happened.

At one point a bunch of us - that is to say, many drunken people and I, the only sober person - went out on the roof and hung out. At one point I stumbled and almost fell from the roof into the pens of the aggressive dogs. The other attendants arrested my fall and thought it was hilarious that I - again, the only sober person - was the only one who (almost) fell, then speculated about what would have happened if I did.

I should have gone home, but didn’t.

My family was about to walk into a Target in south Florida when two police cars, driving much faster than was safe for a parking lot, pulled up to the front doors. Their lights were off, but my wife and I made eye contact and turned our kids around.

Generally speaking, officers of the law exceeding the speed limit is always a “avoid this area” signal for me.

In like 2008 I was coming back from an overnight airsoft event in rural Texas at like 3am and had to stop for gas. I pulled into the only gas station in a small town just off the highway and was just about to get out of the truck when a sketchy dude walks out from behind the gas pump and started asking me questions through my window hey man, cool truck, is that yours or your parents, where you coming from? I rolled out of there real fast and found a safer stop up the road.

Keep in mind, I was in military gear at the time because I was young and dumb, but that didn’t stop sketchy McCrackhead from chatting me up.

Getting onto a train in Stuttgart, Southern Germany.
A strong smell of beer and cigarettes hits me.
Everyone in the train carriage in front of me wears blue and white football jerseys.
And everyone behind me wears white and red.

And they’ve already started singing songs at each other.

new casino opened in my small town. took my wife. she wanted to play one slot machine. she lost $20 pretty quick and I begrudgingly pulled another 20. she hit $100 with just $3 more. we cashed out and went home.

I served a mission for the Mormon church in Russia. One of my companions (the other teenager who is assigned to you as a stranger and must stay within earshot of you at all times for the next few weeks or months) was really enamored with the idea of tracting, or going door to door asking people if they want to talk about Joesph Smith. He had watched too many Mormon missionary movies and was very disappointed to discover the Russian Federation has made tracting illegal. But he really wanted to do it, so we rang a random apartment and claimed to be a postman and snuck into an apartment building to knock doors.

Things started off okay. Russians generally have two doors, a normal wooden door on the inside, and a thick, metal fire door with five deadbolts (three in the wall, and one in the door and ceiling). Mostly, folks would open the inner door, ask what we wanted and then tell us to go away (fair, considering what we were doing was as rude as it was illegal).

But then we got a nibble! A single man invited into his home. The first thing that seemed kinda strange was that he locked and bolted the fire door. This was a little strange — usually people would leave the fire door ajar when they had guests and only lock the inner door — but not enough to really spook me. He led us into the kitchen and made a quick pot of tea and we launched into the first discussion.

The discussions are pretty well rehearsed. The first one, if I recall, has eight parts, and we would give them in sequence — I would do the first part, then say the handover phrase and look significantly at my companion, and he would do the second, then hand it back until either the investigator got bored or we got to the call to action, where we issued some thing we wanted them to do — come to church, pray, read the Book of Mormon, what have you. My companion was starting this round, and was pretty invested in preaching so I don’t think he really noticed as our investigator lit a cigarette, put out the match in a tumbler, filled the tumbler with vodka, and shot the vodka and match together. He made the handoff, though, so at least I could start to figure out a way out of the situation.

Pretty quickly into my segment, the investigator derailed the conversation. Turns out his wife had just given birth to twins, and the prognosis was poor — he was worried they wouldn’t make it. He grasped a kitchen knife and he told me that if god was going to take his newborns from him, he intended to take us from god. I don’t think I ever in my life spoken better Russian, beautiful, flowing, eloquent, explaining it wouldn’t help his suffering and offering prayers and blessings on his children’s behalf. He had this gleam in his eye that really unnerved me, and I really felt I was pleading for my life.

Until my companion finished his tea, and the investigator seemed to forget the whole line of questioning in his haste to be a good host. I quickly made some excuse, but apparently my companion had completely tuned out because he launched into the next part of the discussion as if nothing had happened! I cut him off pretty quick and told him we needed to go, now. When we finally got out of the apartment, I sat down on the top step and began to sob, and my companion looked down at me, amazed, and asked what happened — apparently he had no idea we were ever in any danger.

In any event, I’ve never gone door-to-door soliciting ever again.

Nowhere near as high-stakes as some of the others here, but…

When I was 16 or so, I was hanging out with a few friends and one of them pulled out a joint and a bottle of some kind of liquor, and started passing it around. I got a really bad feeling about it and bailed on it.

Found out the next day that after I’d left, they’d gotten pretty drunk and/or high, and had decided it would be a good idea to take one of their mother’s minivan for a drive around their property. They scraped the side of it on something, took off a huge bit of paint, and then decided the best course of action would be to use some spray paint they found in the garage to try and cover it up.

They were all grounded for quite a long time, a fate I managed to avoid by leaving when I did.

Dude was screaming, to no one, about how much he hates white people, flipping off police cars that drove by, and pacing back and forth. I chilled off to the side, just hoping he wouldn’t bother me, for about 5 minutes before I decided to walk to the next stop.

There were a few times in the jail where I had to leave because of fights. I’ve also gone home a few times because harassment from a coworker disregulated me so badly that I was too upset to stay.

This lady on the street wanted me to get her a Popeye’s chicken sandwich, and she offered to pay me back with a blowjob.

That was a wild lunch break.

I don’t have one as dramatic as yours, but a month ot so ago, I was on the bus to the office, I had my Bose headphones on and was half asleep with closed eyes.

The bus were stopped, and I suddenly noticed an acrid smell, like burning plastic.

I opened my eyes and saw the interior or the bus filled with a haze of smoke.

The doors were open and the last few other passengers were spontaneously evacuating.

So I knew I had to leave and got out in 5 sec.

My first date with my wife, we were waiting to order and someone came up to me and tried to sell me an 8 Ball and some acid.

going into a tunnel with 4 lanes: 1 left and 1 middle and 1 right lane all going toward tunnel, the outside rightmost lane is to go around the bridge (not toward tunnel). I was in the middle lane.

I had a gut feeling or something but the traffic was unusually slow. So i went ahead and drove to the rightmost lane and exited.

After exiting, we are 2kms away but i saw ambulance entering from the opposite lanes. So the 4 lanes on our left should have vehicles moving away from the tunnel. But some serious stuff went down such that ambulance must drive in opposite direction.

It turned out some electric cars malfunctioned and one of the car’s battery combusted due to hot weather.

My wife and I were on vacation at a beach town in Europe with lots of really cool old things to see. A local said he knew of a cool thing off the beaten path a little. Like idiots we followed him for a little bit until we realized by off the beaten path a little, he meant completely away from everyone. We noped out of that before he got us completely isolated so he and his friends could likely jump us.

Dropped my daughter off at a new school friends house for a few hours of play. While having a little me time decided to rub one out. Fell asleep. Woke up from my timer reminding me to get my daughter (I’m a pro).

So i arrive and the mother is already all over me with stories of her divorce and how her ex is the one causing it (and quite a few highly private stories) and my daughter ignores my not so subtle hints that I want to leave now. (Usually thats all good fun). When suddenly their big ass dog starts taking and interest in my private parts and won’t leave me alone. (probably still smelling like jizz.) And their fucking owner doesn’t take the hint to control their fucking dog.

So now I start to sweat and mix in some fear and can’t run and just grab my kid and go nor can I yell for my kid as there are big ass teeth centimeters away from my crotch.

This goes on for close to an hour escalating slowly to the point that I get mad at the kid, the mother and the dog and just start walking out and cursing.

That day my kid learned code for “danger, leave calmly, leave now”. These days they all know a whole hand full of code phrases for: this is no joke, move now.

In the early 2000s, then-girlfriend and I were at a goth club we went to every weekend. Just had a weird feeling that night and decided to leave early. Someone fatally shot a guy we knew not long after we left. I don’t know if they ever found the shooter or the motive. In years of going there, I saw I think two fights ever and it was university fratboys who came to look at the freaks. All in all, we were quite a peaceful crowd (mosh pit nonwithstanding).