This is Ground Control to Major Tomcat…

An I for an I.

the birth certificate

Berth certificate, making us all boats and therefore subject to maritime law.

It sounds like a stupid joke because it is but also one of their things.

The whole thing is a scam by Big Driver-Side-Front-Window to boost their sales.

Are you reading it to them too or do they usually have somebody for that?

Parmesan’t.

People talk about how necessity is the mother of invention or some shit but laziness is at least as good.

We all work for the CIA when you think about it. Don’t do that though, it makes the control chips malfffffffffffffffffff

Makes me think of the video for Tove Lo’s “Elevator Eyes”.

“Despite” or “in order to punish them with”?

Nice try, guy wearing a motorcycle helmet who wants two phones for the price of one bullet. I’m on to your schemes.

Community sidebar, #6.

Must be from the same planet as the Ballchinians.

And harder.

Assuming the pre-surgery length was something normal (making it a rounding error from this point on) and the average 3.5" long flaccid penis takes 130 mL of blood to achieve a 5.17" erection (4.59" in circumference), those extra ~2.1 billion inches would require 5.4 million-ish liters of blood to fill. If those are 2.1 billion flaccid inches, call it about 8 million liters.

Average total blood volume for an adult human is 4.5 to 5.6 liters so we’re going to need more. An Olympic swimming pool is 50x25 meters with a minimum depth of 2 meters. That’s 2.5 million liters. It’ll take two of those full of blood and a little extra to get things up and running.

Somewhere in that ballpark anyway, I think. Don’t rely on this for medical purposes. Average dick-mensions and pool specifications from Wikipedia, blood fill numbers from a Healthline article.

Garbage-ass crypto casino ad.

Congratulations to John Apple.

Just what my militia and I were missing for our Oregonian wildlife refuge takeover.

Should’ve renewed their arson license.

The jaywalking of war crimes.