If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.
There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.
I think demeaning or belittling are the old timey terms for the same behavior. Negging is just the term when it’s used as a strategy by incel/pickup culture assholes.
Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying “okay, cheers”.
However, we humans do crave drama, and I’ve been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespearean tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it’s all fake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Red flag? “This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry” is way more than you’ll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could’ve told them sooner, but I also don’t know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.
Regardless, saying “Thank God” when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.
The proper and respectful way to cancel a date would be to say - for example - “look, I’ve thought this through and I am not feeling it, I changed my mind about further dates, I appreciate the time you spent with me & I wish you all the best!”
The red flag here is mentioning someone “promising” and not wanting to miss the opportunity. It says in the same words “you are not a promising character”. The comparison is the hurtful thing you don’t say out loud if you want to be respectful of someone’s feelings.
And the proper respectful thing would be to give the person you’re cancelling with more notice than an hour before hand, and only after they contacted you to confirm.
Neither one is someone I want to talk to but grey really should’ve just put the phone down and focused on that promising opportunity
I don’t think grey actually has another “opportunity”. This feels like a negging tactic to me.
Remind me what negging is again
If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.
There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.
That’s right, thanks. I haven’t heard it in awhile
I think demeaning or belittling are the old timey terms for the same behavior. Negging is just the term when it’s used as a strategy by incel/pickup culture assholes.
Gotcha. That makes sense
Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying “okay, cheers”.
However, we humans do crave drama, and I’ve been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespearean tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it’s all fake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not sure if I’d count what Green did as bad, in any way.
Petty, maybe, but justice demanded grey have some social consequences for their behaviour, and green most certainly delivered.
Having someone show their red flag this early warrants a “thank god” methinks. Also, “thank the flying spaghetti monster” is more like it.
Christ alive, y’all are some enlightened individuals. *tips fedora*
Spelled Chris wrong, buddy.
I’d throw in a Hail Satan for good measure tbh
Red flag? “This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry” is way more than you’ll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could’ve told them sooner, but I also don’t know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.
Regardless, saying “Thank God” when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.
The proper and respectful way to cancel a date would be to say - for example - “look, I’ve thought this through and I am not feeling it, I changed my mind about further dates, I appreciate the time you spent with me & I wish you all the best!”
The red flag here is mentioning someone “promising” and not wanting to miss the opportunity. It says in the same words “you are not a promising character”. The comparison is the hurtful thing you don’t say out loud if you want to be respectful of someone’s feelings.
And the proper respectful thing would be to give the person you’re cancelling with more notice than an hour before hand, and only after they contacted you to confirm.
I hope they got in such a tizzy over this that it ruined their “plans with someone else” cause they showed up all sour.
Dating culture is so toxic, I’m glad it’s just me and my cat these days…