For you, sex is freely available, wherever and whenever you want, money isn’t a problem, and you can just spend a little time on tinder and get some, but love and affection evades you because you’re unable to trust, worried that it’s your wealth or body rather than you as a person that they want. You are in the top quarter of the sex wealth. You don’t even realise it’s unusual.
For me, love and affection is freely available. My family love me, parents, siblings, wife, children, niblings. My friends and some colleagues freely offer affection and if I want a hug, I can get one, wherever and whenever. I’m rarely more than walking distance from someone who would gladly greet me with a hug. But for me, if I’m away from my bed, or my wife is unwell, or not really feeling like it, sex isn’t happening for me. So with me having a slightly higher libido than my wife, no, I don’t get sex wherever and whenever I want.
You can lecture me all you like about a blowjob on the tube from a junkie or a visit to a theoretical brothel or turning me into a rapist, but they aren’t the sex I want, and certainly aren’t worth jeopardizing my marriage over. If I had the kind of level of interest in sex with me that you get from attractive women, maybe I would be more tempted to give up on the love I share with my wife, so I can’t claim to be virtuous, precisely because the opportunities you passionately believe I have or should have don’t actually exist.
One romantic partner, one sexual partner. That’s my world. Yours is one romantic partner, many sexual partners. You think my world is abnormal and your world is normal, and we disagree about that. We are not the same.
Maybe your life would be more full of love and affection if you spent more time on pouring out love and affection to others and less time getting as much sex as you like, but maybe women find you just as hard to trust that you wouldn’t go off for sex with someone else at any time, in any place, because of all that wealth and sexiness as you find it to trust them that they love you for you and not all that wealth and sexiness.
I really do like my life and love my family, and I wouldn’t trade, despite all the money and sex you appear to have. But it’s hard to feel terribly sorry for you, partly because of all the money and sex you have thrown freely at you, but mainly because you’ve been so unwilling to hear my perspective. Frankly, if you’re this dismissive with your romantic partners, I begin to see why love is so desperately elusive for you that you described the chances as vanishingly small.
If you really do want love and affection, work on the listening skills and the empathy thing, remembering that no one can hear “I love and value you as you are” at the same time as “you are factually incorrect about your life and completely wrong about how the world works”. Also women can’t offer you the love you seem to crave if it’s eating away at them that you seem to never fully trust in them.
I’m getting tired of just repeating my points over and over, if you just want me to acknowledge our life is different. I also probably like different colors that you do. Great. That’s settled. This is of such marginal importance to my initial point.
Maybe you struggle with abstractions and logic or I just have to accept that my point is invalid because your life isn’t like mine. If that makes you happy, so be it.
I truly wish you’d find romantic love and also get laid.
For you, sex is freely available, wherever and whenever you want, money isn’t a problem, and you can just spend a little time on tinder and get some, but love and affection evades you because you’re unable to trust, worried that it’s your wealth or body rather than you as a person that they want. You are in the top quarter of the sex wealth. You don’t even realise it’s unusual.
For me, love and affection is freely available. My family love me, parents, siblings, wife, children, niblings. My friends and some colleagues freely offer affection and if I want a hug, I can get one, wherever and whenever. I’m rarely more than walking distance from someone who would gladly greet me with a hug. But for me, if I’m away from my bed, or my wife is unwell, or not really feeling like it, sex isn’t happening for me. So with me having a slightly higher libido than my wife, no, I don’t get sex wherever and whenever I want.
You can lecture me all you like about a blowjob on the tube from a junkie or a visit to a theoretical brothel or turning me into a rapist, but they aren’t the sex I want, and certainly aren’t worth jeopardizing my marriage over. If I had the kind of level of interest in sex with me that you get from attractive women, maybe I would be more tempted to give up on the love I share with my wife, so I can’t claim to be virtuous, precisely because the opportunities you passionately believe I have or should have don’t actually exist.
One romantic partner, one sexual partner. That’s my world. Yours is one romantic partner, many sexual partners. You think my world is abnormal and your world is normal, and we disagree about that. We are not the same.
Maybe your life would be more full of love and affection if you spent more time on pouring out love and affection to others and less time getting as much sex as you like, but maybe women find you just as hard to trust that you wouldn’t go off for sex with someone else at any time, in any place, because of all that wealth and sexiness as you find it to trust them that they love you for you and not all that wealth and sexiness.
I really do like my life and love my family, and I wouldn’t trade, despite all the money and sex you appear to have. But it’s hard to feel terribly sorry for you, partly because of all the money and sex you have thrown freely at you, but mainly because you’ve been so unwilling to hear my perspective. Frankly, if you’re this dismissive with your romantic partners, I begin to see why love is so desperately elusive for you that you described the chances as vanishingly small.
If you really do want love and affection, work on the listening skills and the empathy thing, remembering that no one can hear “I love and value you as you are” at the same time as “you are factually incorrect about your life and completely wrong about how the world works”. Also women can’t offer you the love you seem to crave if it’s eating away at them that you seem to never fully trust in them.
I’m getting tired of just repeating my points over and over, if you just want me to acknowledge our life is different. I also probably like different colors that you do. Great. That’s settled. This is of such marginal importance to my initial point.
Maybe you struggle with abstractions and logic or I just have to accept that my point is invalid because your life isn’t like mine. If that makes you happy, so be it.
I truly wish you’d find romantic love and also get laid.