This kettle goes up to 18,000 roentgen so you know it’s good.

Was communism invented by Mani Festo?

What’s this box of fake mustaches and bowler hats under your bed?
“Uhhhh…I’m just really into….Victorian England?”

It would take some kind of highly corrupt government with a conman at the helm. That could never happen! /s

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I was gonna fix my backups, but I got high.
I was gonna be able to restore, but then I got high.
Now I lost all my crap, and I know why! (Why man?) Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

“Scans for 3D printed firearm” yeah okay. It’s totally going to detect that with 100% accuracy.

I’m kinda tired of living through these massive historical events.

The fuckers have become the fuckee’s.

I shall build a throne out of the rubble of your civilization.

Give it 40,000 years. There’ll be candles alright.

Why I still drive a Ferrari instead of the poop smelling ice cream truck.

The power of sudo compels you!