If it sings with you then it’s a friend, if it doesn’t then it’s food.

Same here, I remember thinking that this is what adult life looks like.

When I’m on Netanyahu pills I can only get off by shooting my load towards Palestine.

Hey, no wizard languages allowed. You could be casting a spell for all I know!

Recently the quokkas evolved to use tools and they’ve become quite skilled with switch blades. Now it’s not just the drop bears, you have to watch out for quokkas sneaking up behind you and cutting the tendons in your legs with a poisoned blade.

Real Magic The Gathering players pick up cards with their ass cheeks.

I don’t think that will happen especially if you consider the current political climate and how many European countries specifically want to move away from American tech.

Honestly it does, I’ve seen kids build real confidence in class.

If they’re up for it, put them in an improv class for kids with autism, this helps immensely. You could reach out to Giant Steps or Second City. I might be slightly biased because I teach improv but it’s a good way for kids on the spectrum to practice social situations and to learn how to deal with sudden changes.

I hacked this guy’s fish tanks, I reprogrammed the lights and I’m currently training his fish through EMDR to memorize all his passwords. In about six months time I’ll break into his house, interrogate his fish and clean out all his bank accounts.

It was a hopeful time, but also a crazy time, you could match your shoes to your polo, big gulp and tracksuit. Why not go the extra mile and also match your car?

A lot of people got fucked by The Great Depression. It also caused quite a few suicides. Good for you!