Sumocat

I know a couple that equitably changed their last name to Morningstar. Bold, easy to spell, and it is translated from the real German surname Morgenstern, so it’s a real old-world name. You could do something similar and go with Olga Wintersnow or Gretchen Summerday.

At least it’s a quick death. The crater left by the asteroid that theoretically killed the dinosaurs is 100 miles wide. That mushroom cloud covers like a thousand times that direct impact area and will burn until there’s no oxygen.