You can always rub one out. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) P.S. Should fix your door.

Global economic slowdown? No problem? Let me kidney-punch you in the tourism. Now it’s a problem!

It’s awfully difficult to lug around gold bars and diamonds aren’t what they used to be. Inflation however, makes the 500 note worth revisiting.

Laws? How quaint.

In battleshits, it’s so you can keep your hands on the wheel and voice control the AI assisted turret cannon.

You: “Weapons, lock on to that red honda civic that just cut us off.”

AI: “Please confirm license ABC123”

You: “Confirmed”

AI: “Target Confirmed. Please select ammunition - Wet and Sloppy, High Density Penetrator, or Burnt and Crispy”

You: “Recommendations?”

AI: “The Civic’s front passenger window is open. Wet or burnt seem appropriate, however at this rate of speed wet and sloppy has a low probability of penetrating the cabin due to wind shear stress. Recommendation: burnt and cripsy.”

You “Confirm burnt.”

AI: "Firing Solution not yet possible. Please close the gap and avoid intermediate collateral objects.

You: *Drives with passion and skill closing the gap. “Weapons! Where’s my firing solution?”.

AI: “Target lock in 3…2…1…Lock” *Tone signals the duration of lock.

You: “Fire!”

AI: “Direct hit Sir! The burnt and crispy entered through the open passenger window and shattered on the front winshield. As a frangible ammunition the entire round was contained by the passenger cabin.”

You: “Enemy damage assessment?”

AI: “Unconfirmed estimates indicate the driver and all passengers are covered in fine particles of crispy burnt shit. The smell is likely unbearable resulting in the rapid deceleration you just observed. Total damage costs - 2 lost lunches, 2 loads of laundry and a level 5 car detailing required with a 5% chance of never getting the smell out due to ultra fine particles entering the ventilation system.”

You: “Excellent. People like this rarely learn their lessons the first time. Prepare to turn about and make a low speed anti-personel pass to pick off any stragglers. Ammunition - Wet and Sloppy. Fire on my mark.”

The vice president, who is was Catholic, discovers excommunication.

You can’t solve scalping when its a core function of LiveNation’s ecosystem. Scalping is the business model.

Even the stupidest novelties sometimes have the seeds of brilliance.

What starts with in-vehicle toilet may very well lead to the hottest high profit margin and must have accessory: Take a fresh in-car shit, then launch it at the driver who just wronged you.

"Keep your road rage off the streets and in the seats! "

The engineers dubbed it “Project Battleshits” but most of us doubt that will pass through marketing.

My chicky nuggies! ReeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeee