• 0 Posts
  • 38 Comments
Joined 1 day ago
cake
Cake day: May 6th, 2026

help-circle





  • I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It’s a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.

    I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I’ve got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I’m eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I’d rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I’m wearing my lunch on my shirt.

    When we finish, I always show him my “bib,” so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I’m pathetic, but that’s normal.