It’s less about the ability to find the clitoris, and more about the will to do so. I think that it is more than a meme, but in the sense of “men seem so oblivious about the clitoris that surely they must not be able to find it”. Some women do seem to genuinely believe this to be the case. I guess that, as absurd as it may sound, it may be more palatable to believe than “most of my partners don’t give a fuck about my pleasure and I’m functionally little more than a fleshlight to them”
There have been a few times where I have been a bi woman’s first experience of sapphic sex, where they have told me that the sex was so good that it basically redefined for them what sex could be like.
I don’t know if it makes it more or less grim that I have slept with plenty of men who were invested in my pleasure enough that they actively enjoyed helping me to have a good time. I guess they have just been fairly unlucky with their partners.
What’s your basis for saying the vast majority are into it as a kink thing? Because I’m someone who used to feel uneasy about furries for much the same reason you are — but that was when I personally knew few, if any people who were furries.
Over the last few years, my work has meant that I’ve met more furries than I can count, becoming friends with many of them, and developing a better understanding of what being a furry offers them. It’s not a sex thing for the vast majority of furries I have known. This isn’t just based on my experience either — I have an artist friend who draws furry porn for a living. Although she is not a furry herself, she exists in close proximity to the furry community so that she can network and get commissions, and she agrees that the people for whom it’s a kink thing is a minority