It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
It may be possible that a work incident has made it so hearing your name in passing making you twitch is because it’s always used in a non-positive way.
I worked at a toxic workplace and if I ever heard my name that wasn’t directly at me, it was because someone was sharing drama that involved me. Or I was being mocked. Or worse, they were preparing to rip into me.
My new job, everyone is pretty positive and if I hear my name across the hall, I’m excited.
I don’t like people using my full name as nothing good usually follows, but I’m pretty that’s a cultural thing, parents addressing their kids by full name usually means the kid is in trouble.