You should also know that if you are trying to apply this to real life, that you should probably go to therapy instead. Most people are reasonably honest and reasonably kind, and the best way to read people’s minds is to just ask what they are thinking.
Edit for additional context:
These sorts of “psycological FYIs” are frequently posted around and upvoted for the same reason that the news leads every hour with murders and car crashes - because bad news catches attention, and you get a little dopamine hit when you hear it because your brain believes that by hearing about danger, it is now safer from danger. So we get all sorts of posts about what deceivers, or abusers, or narcissists, or whatever, do.
And these posts are particularly enticing to lemmy’s demographic - terminally online, socially anxious autists who naturally have a hard time reading people. These sorts of posts come with an implicit promise - learn these tips, and you’ll finally be safe from people, like the ones who bullied you in middle school.
But take a step back and consider the actual implementation of this advice. Literally all it is saying is “people who smile are untrustworthy”. Which is quite possibly the worst advice if your goal is to successfully navigate the social landscape. This advice comes with far, far more noise than signal, because most people who are smiling most of the time are smiling simply because they are happy. These are the people you want to be around, because happy people are typically more open to meeting new people, being good friends, helping people in need, giving out useful advice, or having fun. This advice literally repels you from the people you should seek out the most.
And it is the same with all of these sorts of advice. People who cross their arms or turn slightly to the side or make poor eye contact or make excellent eye contact or whatever the fuck - people just do this shit all the time for ten million different reasons, with the least likely one being that they plan to rip you off selling you a used car or murder you in their basement. But what happens if you go out in the world looking for all these signals? Well then you will constantly be in your head, slow to speak, eyes darting around, fear and distrust written all over your face. And these are the things that will make the good, honest people around you look at you and get an uneasy feeling - not a thought, just a feeling. But enough of a feeling that they won’t extend an invite to their back yard bbq next weekend. The person who will reach out to you with open arms, though? The con man. Because he can see it written all over your face: “I am an easy target”.
Is Donald Trump a con man? Yes. But you already knew that. You didn’t need some galaxy-brain psychoanalysis to realize that they guy who sells mail order steaks and runs shitty casinos is a shit bag, even before he became president. But Donald Trump doesn’t live in your real life. He is not waiting on the street corner trying to sell you a corporate chain gym membership. Most people in your real life are not like Donald Trump - they are honest, kind, good hearted people that maybe don’t have time for your bullshit right now, but who are happy to help if it isn’t too much of an inconvenience to them. Most people who are like Donald Trump in real life tend to be easy to identify, in the same way Donald Trump is easy to identify. They aren’t subtle. They aren’t devious. Their game isn’t to con everyone - it is to con the dumbest motherfucker in the room. It is obvious to literally everyone else, which is why this guy is usually sitting alone at the bar talking to the bartender - the only people willing to talk to this guy are the people who are getting paid to.
So stop looking for all these devious evil masterminds out to fleece you for every penny and then fuck you in the ass. They mostly don’t exist, and the main way to attract them is to look like you have a history of social isolation. Just show up, meet people, get to know them, and assume the best. There is no way to completely protect yourself from bad people in the world - that’s just life. But constantly worrying about every single person you meet all the time puts you in a cage without any Buffalo Bill copycat having to lift a finger.
I think in the first instance it was the overly verbose answer to a social media post. That suggests you either have a bit of time on your hands or you have very few people to talk to.
Secondly, the hints of grandeur in your comment. Calling out Lemmy users as autists. Weird to do that on this platform, of which you are also on.
But mostly, it’s that you’ve misread the social contract here, and that’s wild as you go on to tell people how to read the situation.
And so my question was genuine. Are you ok, or is there something going on that you need to talk about?
You should also know that if you are trying to apply this to real life, that you should probably go to therapy instead. Most people are reasonably honest and reasonably kind, and the best way to read people’s minds is to just ask what they are thinking.
Edit for additional context:
These sorts of “psycological FYIs” are frequently posted around and upvoted for the same reason that the news leads every hour with murders and car crashes - because bad news catches attention, and you get a little dopamine hit when you hear it because your brain believes that by hearing about danger, it is now safer from danger. So we get all sorts of posts about what deceivers, or abusers, or narcissists, or whatever, do.
And these posts are particularly enticing to lemmy’s demographic - terminally online, socially anxious autists who naturally have a hard time reading people. These sorts of posts come with an implicit promise - learn these tips, and you’ll finally be safe from people, like the ones who bullied you in middle school.
But take a step back and consider the actual implementation of this advice. Literally all it is saying is “people who smile are untrustworthy”. Which is quite possibly the worst advice if your goal is to successfully navigate the social landscape. This advice comes with far, far more noise than signal, because most people who are smiling most of the time are smiling simply because they are happy. These are the people you want to be around, because happy people are typically more open to meeting new people, being good friends, helping people in need, giving out useful advice, or having fun. This advice literally repels you from the people you should seek out the most.
And it is the same with all of these sorts of advice. People who cross their arms or turn slightly to the side or make poor eye contact or make excellent eye contact or whatever the fuck - people just do this shit all the time for ten million different reasons, with the least likely one being that they plan to rip you off selling you a used car or murder you in their basement. But what happens if you go out in the world looking for all these signals? Well then you will constantly be in your head, slow to speak, eyes darting around, fear and distrust written all over your face. And these are the things that will make the good, honest people around you look at you and get an uneasy feeling - not a thought, just a feeling. But enough of a feeling that they won’t extend an invite to their back yard bbq next weekend. The person who will reach out to you with open arms, though? The con man. Because he can see it written all over your face: “I am an easy target”.
Is Donald Trump a con man? Yes. But you already knew that. You didn’t need some galaxy-brain psychoanalysis to realize that they guy who sells mail order steaks and runs shitty casinos is a shit bag, even before he became president. But Donald Trump doesn’t live in your real life. He is not waiting on the street corner trying to sell you a corporate chain gym membership. Most people in your real life are not like Donald Trump - they are honest, kind, good hearted people that maybe don’t have time for your bullshit right now, but who are happy to help if it isn’t too much of an inconvenience to them. Most people who are like Donald Trump in real life tend to be easy to identify, in the same way Donald Trump is easy to identify. They aren’t subtle. They aren’t devious. Their game isn’t to con everyone - it is to con the dumbest motherfucker in the room. It is obvious to literally everyone else, which is why this guy is usually sitting alone at the bar talking to the bartender - the only people willing to talk to this guy are the people who are getting paid to.
So stop looking for all these devious evil masterminds out to fleece you for every penny and then fuck you in the ass. They mostly don’t exist, and the main way to attract them is to look like you have a history of social isolation. Just show up, meet people, get to know them, and assume the best. There is no way to completely protect yourself from bad people in the world - that’s just life. But constantly worrying about every single person you meet all the time puts you in a cage without any Buffalo Bill copycat having to lift a finger.
You ok, mate?
Why would you think I’m not?
Good question.
I think in the first instance it was the overly verbose answer to a social media post. That suggests you either have a bit of time on your hands or you have very few people to talk to.
Secondly, the hints of grandeur in your comment. Calling out Lemmy users as autists. Weird to do that on this platform, of which you are also on.
But mostly, it’s that you’ve misread the social contract here, and that’s wild as you go on to tell people how to read the situation.
And so my question was genuine. Are you ok, or is there something going on that you need to talk about?