I’m a Spanish person living in the Netherlands for already almost 9 years. In one hand at some point in these last years, I started to feel like I don’t belong in Spain anymore, and on the other hand, I think I’ll never feel fully integrated in NL. Any thoughts? Advice? Someone feeling the same?
I’m an American living in America, and I most certainly don’t belong here anymore - nor do I want to belong to what it has become.
Which country?
Sorry, I thought most everyone assumed “America” equated to the (supposedly) “United States of America” (which is the answer to your question) unless specified otherwise.
No, that would be very offensive to the rest of the continents’ countries
Interpreting “I live in America” as a continental reference makes you the exception in my experience. If I lived in one of those other countries on either American continent, I likely would have said the name of the country instead of the name of the continent (let alone without specifying which one).
Honestly fully expect you’re trolling, but I’ll play nice nonetheless.
No. Try living in South America. We all consider ourselves Americans.
And if you say “America bombed Iran” or something, we get pissed. Because we had nothing to do with that war.
Your experience seems very ethnocentric.
That’s how us Jews feel. We’ve felt that way for thousands of years.
We certainly dont belong in Palestine. The fascist Zionists fucked that up bad.
i have never felt line I belong anywhere , so doesn’t matter where I am :)
doesn’t answer your question about integrating though, just to let you know you’re not aloe… As an Australian I’m just jealous you’re in the EU with freedom of movement
I’m black. Enough said. LoL. I don’t have a country.
Black American - Dont belong in America. Don’t belong in Africa. Don’t belong in Europe. Don’t belong in the Caribbean. And Asia??? LMAO!
I think only France wants me… and that I don’t get.
Edit: I’m also a black nerd on top of that. So fun times.
Do you live in a very white area?
Because it seems like the Black people here in Philly are just chillin’. I mean like… I feel like they “fit in” more than Asian Americans “fit in”…
There are Black people all over Philly, but in contrast, in some areas, I felt like I was the only person with an East Asian face…
You’d be surprised … there are bigots everywhere but I have found multiple people in my travels that find black American culture fascinating. It’s something that the average European has no exposure to so they find it “exotic”
I do know people who have had that. One fellow I new was German but loves in the US and still has a German twang in his voice, so in the US he is considered German. But when he goes home to Germany because he has picked up an American accent he is considered American so he doesn’t feel at home in either place.
I’ve lived 5-20years in 4 different countries. I moved over 40 times. I belong to the world, home is where the heart is
I’ve never felt like I fully belonged anywhere. It doesn’t really bother me anymore most of the time.
Yeah i have that.
My best advice is that it matters more where you’re going than where you’re coming from.
I left my old homestate 3 1/2 years ago. I miss it sometimes, but being away from it for so long, has helped me realize that I miss and was chasing the times that have long gone by me. I was seeing the signs and writings on the wall. I can’t say I’m fully accustomed to the state I went to, but, nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
I was born Chinese and my family immigrated to the US when I was 8
I post about this topic a lot here, so forgive me for being so repetative for those who might’ve already read this before, this is sort of just my platform for cartharisis…
click if you actually wanna read this wall of text...
I was born during the One Child Policy, I was the second child in my family, the government would catch women who are pregnant with their second child and force abortion on them.
Mom was supposed to have a IUD which would’ve prevented my conception, but she never got it and left her hometown to a city (Guanzhou btw) for work… and because of jurisdictional issues or something like that, she just never went back to her home village for like 5 entire years. Honestly I don’t know if she even remember all the details… I mean it must’ve been traumatic for her. Repressed memories and all that stuff. One time she told me she forged a certificate about the IUD thing. But the other part of this was they would check fertile women for pregnancy every 3 months… I think this was only done for those that already had one child, but not too sure, mom didn’t elaborate much… but she told me she convinced another women to pretend to be her and show up to take the pregnacy test…
So 5 years after my older brother was born, my parents conceived me…
Then my mom told me that at month 7 or 8, someone noticed but turned a blind eye to it so didn’t report it.
So yeah… that’s how I came into this world… allegedly, I mean I obviously cannot witness my own birth, so my parent’s account are the only people that are direct witness to the entire ordeal that I know of… I mean I do have an older brother and I do have memories of China and the One Child Policy is public knowledge… so that’s as much fact checking I could do… I’d just have to go by my mom’s account
After I was born, I wasn’t allowed to be registered into the Hukou, which meanr that I effectively did not legally exist, until my parents paid the massive fine somewhetr between ¥20000 to ¥30000 rmb… (idk if they even remember the exact amount anymore… so long ago…) in around 2002 to 2010s, and it sounded like it was a lot from how my mom described it… they had to save every penny they had… I think they might’ve asked relatives or friends for money, possibly, but not sure… they didn’t really elaborate…
So because of this… I feel rejected by China…
The other thing is… I was born in Guangzhou, and even after the fines thing was settled… the other problem was that my parents were rural… so we were essentially second class residents in Guangzhou, we cannot get a Guangzhou Hukou… me and my older brother are not allowed in Guangzhou public schools, even though my parents worked in Guangzhou… so they had to pay for a separate shitty school that’s, according to mom, worse than public schools…
So I also can’t really call my self a 廣州人 (Guangzhou-er) even though I can speak both Cantonese and Mandarin (sort of… now English has kinda taken over my brain)…
So that’s the China story…
Then the USA…
Okay I don’t need to explain this one much…
American-Born Chinese bullied me for being a weird kid that didn’t speak much English at first… then for non-Asians that I encounter… its racism, not everyone of course, but common enough to have this feeling of “rejection”
I do have US Citizenship… so I should be feeling very “fitting in” here… I can speak English very close to a native speaker…
But then we got a new sheriff in town… a second time… 🤦♂️ (y’all know who…)
So yeah…
Haven’t actually encountered ICE yet… but this is causing a lot of anxiety…
The US is beautiful, but politics is so corrupted… ugh…
Idk if it’s paranoia… but I feel kinda like very hyper vigilant if I’m in a predominantly white neighborhood…
Haven’t seen a lynch mob yet… but the thought of it is kinda scary…
I was born in Guangzhou,
Hey I’m in Guangzhou right now! Even if you went back, it’s probably not the place you remember, though the air is the worst of the 12 chinese cities I’ve been to so far, and its almost 90 degrees and humid so that’s probably the same. (Not as bad as Almaty, Hanoi, or HCMC, but still cooking me alive while destroying my allergies).
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![]Hey, you wanna visit my old neighborhood?
I mean I’m not gonna give the exact address, but you can take a look at 广州大道北 梅花园 麦地西街
The latest Baidu street view I found was in like 2014… so yea idk how it looks now…
My mom and older brother is in China right now… they got their US Passports and the 10 year “visiting relatives” visa and they just left like on sunday (last sunday, that is)
Apparanly my mom is pressuring my older brother to get married… lol (he’s like 28 or 29)…
Mom and her friend network thing got bro and some girl added eacher other on Wechat and I think they’ve been chatting for a while… and now I guess they are about to meet or something… or perhaps if not a good match, then mom’s gonma pressure him to meet with other “marriage candidates”… lol
As for me… I didn’t feel like visiting… Mom asked if I wanna come and I just was like “nah fam”
Also why did she even ask lmfao, this trip is for my older brother to go pursue marriage plans… why the fuck would I tag along? lmfao, that is sooo fucking weird to do… even my older brother was like “wtf, dont let this annoying shit come” (paraphrased)
(I mean I didn’t even have a valid passport lol, I just submitted the application for it yesterday at a post office)
I have a bunch of stuff not backed up and am too internet addicted to chance VPNs not working and then youtube or other stuff blocked… I’d have withdrawl from that lol… too much stress for me…
(And also a bit of the politcs thing, just feel kinda resentful towards the government)
Mom and brother are staying with one of my aunts (aka: her sister) in Taishan…
I asked them to check the internet thing but brother completely ignores me (not really on speaking terms right now) and mom is digitally illiterate to check for what websites work or not… or maybe she just doesn’t care since she’s so obsessed with trying to get my older brother to get into a marriage… cuz mom says if you wait, you will “never find anyone and die alone”… lmfao
So… roaming… T-Mobile charges $0.25 for each minute of calling… but mom got the international pass for like $50 so its now unlimited… so I don’t have to install WeChat and make an account just to talk to her…
So I just randomly call all the time and be like “MOOOMMM” 😅 (I mean if you don’t use the unlimited minutes, its going to waste lol)
So yea, that’s my story, how’s everything going for you?
Here’s that same pic at night.
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Hello fellow Vagrant, I’m also out of place … Cuban born, raised in Spain for 16 years now living in the US for 20.
I like to think my “homeland” is the internet … it’s the only place people like you and I fit in.
In fact, the FEDIVERSE to be more precise is where I feel I fit the best.
https://media1.tenor.com/m/9JnuxejJaZwAAAAd/starwarsmay4-hans.gif
Como dice Mago de Oz “No eches raizes en un sitio muvete, pues no heres un arbol para eso tienes dos pies”
I can’t say anything about the general culture of Spain or the Netherlands, but I am an American who lived in Japan for a while and I have had similar thoughts.
My advice is to stop worrying about integrating like this. I’m not saying to stop integrating more. You’re a human so that is almost inevitable. It is the worrying that is the problem, not the integrating.
my best advice is to think
“I was born in X country but Y country formed the person I am”
The key is to keep moving. Just keep running and you’ll always feel free /s
Yeah same. I’ve been in Canada for 26 years and I dont feel like I belong at home (Mexico) or here.
No thoughts or advice, I’m just always trying to find where I belong.
