i only feel sexual attraction towards my partners, and they have to be sexual first. if they’re not sexual people, i only feel romance to them and no sexual feelings. i frankly don’t wanna bang anyone and have never felt like actually doing so until i met my partner, and even then, it’s more out of curiosity and romantic sparks than anything else (i’m super romantic so i’m not aromantic).
i only feel sexual feelings under certain circumstances, and even then, i use it to make myself happy and not really wanting to have sex with someone.
i am sure i feel sexual attraction, like probably towards my partner, but i’d say less so than most people do, perhaps???
i’m demisexual for now which is on the ace spectrum.
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Labels are meant to help you navigate and exist in the world. If it’s achieving that, it’s the right label!
No, they can be useful for helping a person find their identity but first and foremost they’re descriptors. You shouldn’t be claiming to people that you’re blue eyed if you don’t have blue eyes even if you’ve lived your whole life thinking you did until just recently after looking in the mirror for the first time.
It doesn’t sound like calling yourself blue eyed in that circumstance would help you exist in and navigate the world…
Only if you consider lying to yourself and others helpful for navigating the world
That’s why sexuality labels and identity labels are best when they’re self chosen. People get to decide for themselves what helps and what fits. And part of that whole process is dealing with other people offering their opinions, whether you asked for them or not. That stuff impacts the labels people choose and/or the labels people choose to share.
Right but self choosing a label doesn’t mean that you define what that label means or if it applies to you. Telling someone the label they have chosen is applicable if they personally think it is appropriate is stupid when they’ve asked specifics about what exactly a label means and how it might apply in the context of their life.
As much as you may think otherwise, sexuality and identity labels aren’t objective. They are subjective and self applied, because it doesn’t matter what label you pick, or how clear cut you think it is, there is someone, somewhere, who uses it differently. There is no single “truth” when it comes to these things.
So yeah, picking a label that helps you navigate the world is the smart choice. Because if you’re trying to pick a label based on some objectively true definition, you’ll fail before you begin, because there is no such thing in this context
If the labels are subjective, how can my interpretation that you’re using them wrong be wrong?
dude im struggling with this exact same thing T_T ace has such a “strict” definition that i technically don’t fit into but the label has always felt right to me and i relate a lot to the asexual experience. but yeah what everyone else is sayin— you’re still valid and you can consider yourself whatever you want. also, labels are tools, so if they aren’t helping and are rather causing distress, then dont even worry about all that :)) (easier said than done, i know)
you could stop giving a fuck about stupid arbitrary labels?
all that means is you are agonizing about how others perceive you and will label you and you feel it has some weight.
people have called me gay/queer my entire life. it’s annoying, but it has no bearing on what i really am. no amount of people calling me gay is ever going to make me gay.
Do you have a name? Names are just labels. Why do you care if other people can summon you. Stop worrying about other people and stop haveing a name.
It’s not about what people think about us it’s about ease of communication. I can give someone a detailed explanation of the complexity of my attraction
or I can say I’m ace and be done with it. Ace is close enough to what I am. Much like it makes it easier for someone to get in contact with you if they know your damn name.
Labels exist for a reason. We are pattern recognition machines mostly.
I don’t really use my name or other people’s names when interacting with them, no. I also don’t really use labels and I avoid socialize with people who are obsessed with them because I mostly find them to be massively self-obsessed jerks who lack respect for others and arrogantly insist they know shit they don’t.
Because I don’t really give a fuck about these weird arbitrary definitions of 150 pride flags that angsty teens on tumblr made up to feel special. anymore than i think anyone’s given name is some sort of ‘identity’ or horoscope of their personality.
“I don’t use people’s names”
Okay. Do you have any friends at all? Who are they?
I say ‘hey man’.
But they aren’t here. Tell me about your friends.
Me and your friend are meeting for the first time at a party and you are introducing us? Rember you can’t use names.
What does your phone book on your cell look like? No names or labels.
By the way ”man” is a label
my cell is mostly just numbers.
no, man is not a label. i use it for women and queer people too.
Well hate it quietly then. You aren’t any different than the bigots. You won’t hang out with anyone who uses any kind of label and you demand people stop because it bothers you.
Btw it must be hard for you to order food considering things don’t have labels. Hamburger is an arbitrary label. So is steak. And beef, and beer, and bears.
lol you use labels all the time you just want to feel superior to others.
I don’t like sports but i don’t bring it because im not judging people who do like sports. I don’t complain, I just don’t watch the sports. Oh sorry I shouldn’t have used the word “sport” that’s a label and I know they scare you.
This is human nature. It’s part of our brains way of processing things. You don’t categorize or sort anything?
typical lemmy. ‘if you disagree with me or challenge me you are just a hateful bigot’ straight to the personal attack because you have nothing of substance to say.
No, life is pretty easy for me. I don’t agonize over the labels of things. I mostly ignore them. Just like I ignore lazy relativism arguments that think words have no meaning… but who hypocritically get very defensive about those very same words.
None of those things are arbitrary, but keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel smart i guess? Jesus. Not everyone is so divorced from a physical/objective reality as you are.
Many people have responsive desire as opposed to spontaneous desire. That’s even a common friction point in relationships.
that’s interesting, where is that distinction from?
You can be a valid Apache Attack Helicopter if you want to be. Nobody else gets to decide whether that’s valid except you. You might confuse or even mislead some people, you’ll have to be prepared for that, but before you consider whether it even matters that some people get confused or misled, you should consider why it’s any of their business in the first place, because it probably isn’t. If it is, then by all means, check whether it’s valid with them, not us.
the people you are in relationships get to decide what is valid to.
but if you never engage in relationships, yeah you can be an attack helicopter. but if you do feel that way, don’t be surprised that nobody else wants to interact with you.
